A New Baby Coming

I don't forget that I do own a blog. It's just that I don't have the feel to write anything in it. Today, however, I have the urge to write something. 

Anyway, I'm on medical leave as I'm in months nine of pregnancy. I don't know why for this time pregnancy, the tiredness is bringing me down. I could no longer sit in the office or at home for such a long hour. My body is aching every where. Only Allah knows how I feel. As I really cannot describe the feeling. Compared to my previous pregnancies, this one is totally different. I was having severe morning sickness. Not only in the morning. Throughout the day. It started immediately when I get to know I was in my 7th weeks. It just getting worse during Ramadhan. In fact, I was admitted for 3 days because of dehydration. I was having the container to support my puke on the way to office and back to home. In the office itself, I don't know how many trips to the loo. My hubby is at his best to accommodate my condition. 

I also experienced bleeding when the pregnancy just turned to its 8th months. Again, I was admitted. But Alhamdullillah, baby is actively kicking and somersaulting in my womb. So it is not the time for the baby to come out yet. I was given the injection to mature the baby's lung. I just cannot remember what is the name. And that injection is very, no.. VERY painful. Thanks to Allah,  I just need 2 of it. I can still remember the pain though. 

And now I'm at home. Waiting. Having here and there of contraction. I'm going to see my Gynae this coming Saturday. If all goes well, I might be having the baby somewhere next week. Perhaps. But hubby is not around. He is now in Mecca, performing his Umrah. Yes, everyone is asking why did he choose this date to go. He is sponsored by his parents so it seems he didn't has much choice but to say yes. Its okay I said. He is going to somewhere for worshiping Allah. And who knows, Allah might granted his prayer to have a baby boy. Yes, doctor has scanned and he said its going to be another girl. Whatever the gender of the baby is, we are thankful. 

That is all I can say at this moment. My mind is quite numb these few days as I really feel ache everywhere and very tired. Have great days ahead!

PCOS Still Going On

I know such a long stop after my last post. So hook-up with work and housework. But still going to see my gynae for my follow-up on PCOS problem. If you want to know about this PCOS, read it here.The last one I had a session was this morning. Of all the days in a week, it got to be today (a long wait because Saturday is when everybody who is working to see him) because of the last hormone pill he gave me in the last session. The pill is clomiphene. He wanted to test out whether my eggs will grow when the pill is taken. 

He was happy to see that one of my eggs is grown to an acceptable size. Yes, one of the eggs. I got plenty of it. That is why its called poly-cyst. He explained about my situation and what he'll do next. He said, people with poly-cyst chances of getting pregnant is higher than those who suffered endometriosis. Or in layman term, senggugut. He said, if it is not being controlled, those with poly-cyst tends to have twins / triplets. He gave me a shot of hormone. I cannot remember what was the jab all about. He explained. But cannot remember. Aiyoo.. me with my short term memory loss!

He told me to have an urine test if I don't get my regular menses. Otherwise, to see him again in my next cycle. 

Friends, I'm begging you for those who are having irregular menstrual cycle, do seek advice from your gynae. It is a common problem among Asian women. My gynae told me, most people think it is normal not to have menstrual in a month. However to young women, it is not. It is always good to have earliest treatment rather than its too late. Not having regular menstrual can lead to so many problems to us women, especially if you have family members who are suffering heart problem, diabetic or high blood pressure. 

If I were pregnant this time round, hopefully its going to be a boy. I already have 3 girls. Pray for me friends.

Bored and Sweaty Situation

After 2 days duelling with a very dull trainer, I was so glad at the end the course ended. The modules of the course are fascinating enough for us to choose it. But we were really disappointed with the trainer. He doesn't know how to attract the class, he bragged about himself, he can do magic to everything he touches. And it will turn out very successful. Be it in recession or not, he'll do well. We were not amazed at all!

And we came in this morning, there were some of us who were late, thanks to the Federal Territory Day Rehearsal, he showed us videos on his daughter's singing in some occasions. Not only that, he actually gave the key word to search in YouTube! Oh god..... help him please. 

When the training ended, I was trying to call dearest Mr H. He was not replying my sms... he was not even picking up the phone calls even though I've tried so many times. So normally when this thing happen, he's sleeping. Yes, he is always in a dead log sleep. A very dead log. Don't be surprised if he talked to you with open eyes but actually he's sleeping. Some of his friends already kena this thing. When he attended courses outstation and woke him up the next morning. He responded the correct answer to your questions but he's actually sleeping.

I hitched a ride with my friend till KL Sentral. Took Komuter from there until Shah Alam. This is the first time I got to try the supposedly pink coach. The coach I got is actually blue with pink woman figure sticker. And.... I managed to fight to get into the coach. I actually stucked at the stainless steel pole. I need not to use my hand to grip anything. I can just stand there and not moving even when  the driver brakes. It was that full loaded of people. One thing I'm thankful enough, I got to breathe decent air. No sweaty armpit smell, no one had let go windy gas (I cannot imagine if someone had eaten tempoyak and sorts and decided it was about time to let the wind pass) and no smelly hair. I reached Shah Alam safe and sound and quite happy.

And I'm supposed to do the finishing touch to my Leadership Assignment which is due tomorrow. But here I am, cannot wait to write down the experience I had today.

Selamat malam everyone!

New Year New House

Our previous house we rented has cracked to the max. Yes, it is literally cracked. Especially the wall of our master bedroom. We can actually see lights from the staircase. Since we are comfortable living in the neighbourhood, we decided to find a house in the area as well. Despite that there are no school bus for my Amalin who is attending a school in Section 7. Most of them are schooling either in Section 9, 6 & 4. So why did we send Amalin to Section 7? Because the father likes the school. Its still new. Anyway we didn't encounter transportation problem the first few months. Until the bus driver suddenly feels like quitting and he did! And a headache to us as the bus operator couldn't find a replacement. So hubby being sending her to school everyday and sometimes we pick her up from school. Other times, my sister pick her up. 

With the new house, a slight change, I'm still putting on hope that everything will turn out well. Even though there is still minor worry of whether things will happen again. I couldn't just put it away because I don't want to be too comfortable when things happen. I want to have firm feet on the ground shall it strike. 

Some people which I haven't realize before do makes me feel good about myself. I know I'm being taken care of in nice ways. Just by asking simple question like how am I doing means a lot to me. So I would like to say thank you to these people. You know who you are. 

ttfn...

Welcoming The New Year

I've been hooked up with a lot of things. Hence, the abandoned blog. Hooked with work and personal life. 2010 has bring me joy but at the same time a lot of emotional drama. So many unbelievable things happened and yet I believe it happened because of reason. Perhaps Allah is planning something good for me? No one knows. I'm just hoping for the very best.

The things happened I just couldn't put into words. It will remains as part of my life and I have to accept that. Its just that I need to thinnk how to avoid it. Close friends might understand, well, some don't. But everyone has been supportive toward me and I do appreciate it. Some giving me 100% support on the decision I've made and the other percentage might just say, "are you sure you are not regrettting it?". I couldn't guarantee on it. The hope things will work out well is my only chance. Pray for me. 

This new beginning of 2011, I'm putting so much hopes of things will get better and better, not for myself but also for everyone. Let us spread happiness everywhere. 

Happy New Year to All and May It Birngs You Health, Joy n Prosperity.

Face Masks

My mind being a bit numb for the past few days. Couldn't think whats right or whats wrong. Just a film of memory keeps on playing again and again. As if I press play and then when it has finished, I press rewind button and it starts all over again. But all these reminded me of the masks that I'm wearing or more like I have to wear it. 

I have put a brave, happy, nothing happen and all sorts of face masks to hide the deepest feeling inside me. I dare not putting face masks like sad, pity me or that sorts when my dignity is put at stake. But then again, suddenly I remembered, normally emotions shows through eyes. We can't lie what we are actually feeling deep inside. If someone were to look at you straight in the eyes, he/she will eventually ask, tell me what happen. 

If the person is your best friend, you'll not hesitate to pour out everything even jeopardizing your dignity. You'll be telling the whole story from A to Z. And being a good listener, she/he will try to help you in anyway. Moral, financial or whatever sorts of support you needed that time. 

In my case, I would rather keep it silence. I avoid eye contact, avoid having casual talk with my bff as I don't think I'm ready enough to tell the truth. Nothing but the whole truth. Until when I would keep this silence, I wouldn't know. It doesn't bring me any good. But I just can't help it to pour it out. Its so humiliating. 

I'm not expecting you to understand what I'm writing. Its just a reminder for myself for what I've been going through. And yes, it hurts. 

Have a great weekends everyone. Enjoy it with your love ones. TTFN.

A Training I Enjoyed Most So Far

This week it started off so good. I attended a 2-days course at The Curve. Interesting place to have a course kan? This course is actually the second part of my 3 modules on leadership. This time round instead of having the normal theory session, we played a board game. The objective of the game is how you are going to sustain your business, where are you leading your business and all sorts of business related.

Its like a monopoly but different concept. Perhaps I could say its like a Donald Trump monopoly? Well, everyone in the course were enjoying the game. For lunch, we had at 2 different places this time. And better taste from the first time we were having the course there. And they served starter and desserts as well. The only thing we hated about the course was.. we have to do an assignment. Yes, for this leadership course, each module has their own assignment that we need to submit. And we have 2 session on coaching to guide us in giving the correct or best answers. Not bad. But it really take time to do it plus the existing office work. I wonder how those who further study manage to do it. Whatever it is, I know I can do it.

Signing off now. Enjoy your weekends folks. TTFN!