Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Things Happen For A Reason

My career didn't start as how I want it. All those movies and dramas (mind me, but especially Malay soap operas) telling graduates directly or indirectly you'll be getting a good job and your own room when you work is very far reach dreams. Well, sadly to admit, I was one of the dreamers. But, I never believe you'll straight away be a manager with own room.

I graduated as an average student (yes, I study not so hard but play very hard 😝). It was in 1998.  While I was struggling to finish off my last paper, my mind was thinking about my father whom at that time is struggling with diabetes and cardiac problem. He was being diagnosed of the heart problem in 1986. My goal was only one, finish my paper and to go back straight to my hometown. And I did just that. That was somewhere in July.

When I reached home, he was not in good condition. His friend asked him to go to HUSM for better check-up options. So he did. He was admitted immediately with the same diagnosis but with better options of medicine. My everyday routine was morning fetch my mum from hospital, brought her home then go to hospital again to bring lunch for my father.

I'll stay for a while till 3pm. Back home to check on my little sister then off to hospital again in the evening till the end of visiting hours. My father was on medical leave till December. That was when my graduation ceremony is. I didn't want to attend because I didn't want to leave him and my mom. But he told me, it was a once in a lifetime experience, so take the chance and just go. I took his advice. I went back after the ceremony.

He started working in January 1999. I became his chauffeur. If he hadn't been sick, he would rather not. I'm not a bad driver, if that's what you think. He didn't trust women driver. Slowly after that he tried to drive on his own.

By late January, most of the time he did his own driving. And I half heartedly asked him whether I can go to KL to find a job. It is very hard to find one in KB. He gave his consent and I went. After a week in KL, I finally got an interview. That night I called him to share the experience. But in returned, he told me he was on his way to clinic because he's not feeling well. My uncle drove for him because my mom doesn't know how to drive.

I feel uneasy when he told me that. In about half hour after that, he told me now he's on the way to HUSM because he is not satisfied with the doctor at the clinic. Now, my heart beating very fast. Just another half hour, my mom called me. "Lila, Bapak dah meninggal". That was the exact word spoken with such calmness. And I cried and cried and feeling remorse why did I ever leave him.

Called up my elder sister and made all the necessary arrangement of going back. And ever since then, I never thought I'll be back again in KL.

Due to my father's sickness, I knew right then I have to take care of my own health. Slowly I reduced sugar intake which I really don't mind. I'm not a sweet tooth person. But being a Kelantanese, I cannot resist the temptation of having nasi belauk, nasi kerabu, laksam and all sorts of menu which I rather not list it down as someone might be drooling.

Yes, I admit I am a big fan of eating but somehow managed to be choosy. I don't like fruits. I don't like milk. I don't like fruit cake. So eventually my metabolic rate dropping due to aging. No... I'm not old. Hehehe. I am only 38. So what happen when you gradually lost your metabolic rate? Yes.... You gained weight.

My gain weight is a bit humiliating but not motivational enough for me to lost it. People think I'm pregnant. Yup, I do look like one. Nevertheless, I have this advantage of people offering me seats when I'm in the train. I'm a happy person. Don't blame me. It's quite tiring to stand in the train from where I board and arrive.

So, in searching the right product for a slimmer me, I ask a friend of mine. She said she consuming few products of Shaklee and it's working for her. I give it a thought. Done some researching on my own and decide to give a try.
What did I try I'll continue in next entry.

Till then.

"believe in yourself"

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