Face Masks

My mind being a bit numb for the past few days. Couldn't think whats right or whats wrong. Just a film of memory keeps on playing again and again. As if I press play and then when it has finished, I press rewind button and it starts all over again. But all these reminded me of the masks that I'm wearing or more like I have to wear it. 

I have put a brave, happy, nothing happen and all sorts of face masks to hide the deepest feeling inside me. I dare not putting face masks like sad, pity me or that sorts when my dignity is put at stake. But then again, suddenly I remembered, normally emotions shows through eyes. We can't lie what we are actually feeling deep inside. If someone were to look at you straight in the eyes, he/she will eventually ask, tell me what happen. 

If the person is your best friend, you'll not hesitate to pour out everything even jeopardizing your dignity. You'll be telling the whole story from A to Z. And being a good listener, she/he will try to help you in anyway. Moral, financial or whatever sorts of support you needed that time. 

In my case, I would rather keep it silence. I avoid eye contact, avoid having casual talk with my bff as I don't think I'm ready enough to tell the truth. Nothing but the whole truth. Until when I would keep this silence, I wouldn't know. It doesn't bring me any good. But I just can't help it to pour it out. Its so humiliating. 

I'm not expecting you to understand what I'm writing. Its just a reminder for myself for what I've been going through. And yes, it hurts. 

Have a great weekends everyone. Enjoy it with your love ones. TTFN.